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What Is A Sex Toy?


This is from The alt.sex FAQ Project.
Copyright © The alt.sex CABAL.

In theory, almost anything can take the role of a sex toy. Other than two human bodies, anything else introduced into sex play qualifies as either prophylaxis (contraception and disease prevention) or recreation, i.e., a toy.

For our purposes, a sex toy is any object brought into sex play to enhance the pleasure of the person/people involved.


What kinds of vibrators are there?
Vibrators come in three distinct 'types'. Many women find satisfaction in this most common (and more often thought of), the classic penis-shaped, battery powered shaft of plastic. These suffer, however, from a lack of real power and inconvenient battery death.


Picture Of Female Masturbation With A Vibrator


The second type of vibrator, the 'wand' vibrator, overcomes these problems with wall current. These large, club-shaped vibrators provide LOTS of stimulation, and wall current provides all the power you could ask for, but the designers apparently intended for people not to view these things as sex toys, but as personal massagers, and the ungainliness of these things reflects that.

The third type of vibrator, the 'handle' or 'coil' type, looks vaguely like a small hairdryer with a small, perpendicular shaft out of the thicker end to accommodate a variety of soft plastic or latex heads. The best of all possible worlds, these vibrators never die, fit in one hand, and can provide a variety of sensations.

Shower Massagers make a wonderful variation on the classic vibrator, and if you enjoy the warmth and wetness of the tub, you probably want to consider investing in a shower massager. Like the wand and handle vibrators, shower massagers have a host of uses beyond masturbation, too!


Where do I go to buy a vibrator?
If you have never bought one before, or you would rather keep everything discreet, buy sextoys and other erotic products online. There are many sites that sell adult erotica online.

You can do all your sexual related shopping here. All products are shipped discreetly worldwide in a nondescript cardboard box with a label from Convergence, your credit card is charged by Convergence.

If you want to, you can also visit a store in your area that sells adult entertainment. Check the phone book for stores close to you.


What should I know about using a vibrator?
Before using any mechanical vibrator, apply lubrication! Your lover probably does not rank friction burns in the same category as love bites. Use a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y (always recommended), Astroglide, or Wet.


Are there any kinds of vibrators I should avoid?
Do not purchase a vibrator specifically designed to deliver heat to the body as a sexual device. If they work on muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. I know of at least one case where a woman burned herself with one of these things because her climaxes were so strong she didn't notice how much the heater had burned her.


My girlfriend and I have never used a vibrator. What should I know?
Nobody knows how to masturbate YOU better than you do, and the same rule applies to everybody else. Don't use a vibrator on someone else until you've watched them use it on themselves, preferably several times. Men, especially, should watch how their girl friends or wives use the vibrator alone before taking the reins.


Can I be replaced by a vibrator?
No mechanical piece of plastic can replace the love and affection of a human being; try to see the vibrator as just another toy, and not as competition. Vibrators cannot do the dishes or take out the garbage, and they cannot gives hugs or kisses.


Do vibrators cause a woman to become less sensitive?
Some women do experience a temporary 'desensitization' after the effects of a powerful vibrator, but put the toy away for a week and sensitivity returns to normal. There is no clinical evidence that vibrators cause long-term desensitization.


A final word on vibrators. Should you buy a vibrator?
That's a decision only you can make; I personally have bought two for my wife, and a shower massage, and they've made our sex life a whole lot better, not worse. As always, your mileage may vary.


What is a dildo?
Dildo: An artificial substitute for an erect penis (Websters')

Dildos come in many different shapes and sizes, but all of them are meant to do one thing: in some way, shape, or form, they are meant to be a substitute or symbol for a real penis. If you are inclined to believe Freud, then the Washington Monument could be considered a dildo.

For our purposes, though, a dildo is a sex toy, usually made of latex or silicone, designed to be inserted into some bodily orifice for sexual pleasure.

People use dildos for a variety of purposes. Although most women can orgasm through clitoral stimulation, many do enjoy the feeling of something hard and thrusting inside the vagina and/or anus during masturbation.

Many men, gay or otherwise, feel the same way, using small (or as your tastes go, large) dildos for anal stimulation. A dildo can be used with a harness to give a woman a penis she can thrust with and still keep her hands free.


Picture Of A Female With A Dildo Harness



What should I look for in buying a dildo?
Buying a dildo involves a number of factors, such as length, thickness, hardness and texture. It is strongly recommended that you comparison shop with your hands, looking for one with a smooth surface made of a firm, but not too firm, latex. Dildo shopping is a very personal activity, and you should take your time buying one.

The two most common materials for a dildo are silicone and latex. Silicone is usually more expensive, but most people who use dildos regularly agree that its qualities of matching body temperature and its general texture make it the superior material. As with anything, you get what you pay for.

The most important thing to remember is that you should start small. Buy dildos you *know* you can probably handle, rather than ones you hope to be able to handle. Get your money's worth out of any toy you buy.


What is a butt plug?
A butt plug is a kind of dildo with a bulge in the center, much like a spindle, so that the shaft gradually thickens, flares out, and then begins to narrow again.

In general, once inside the rectal cavity, the flare of a well chosen buttplug will rub directly against those nerve clusters by the opening of the anus, the ones which signal your need to defecate. Depending upon how your brain is wired, denying or understanding this signal can be a very pleasurable experience, or an extremely uncomfortable one.

Also, the 'tip' of the well-chosen buttplug will rub against a man's prostate when he moves, sending yet more signals of unknown quality to the brain. It's all in what you like.

What variants of the butt-plug are there? Other forms of butt-plugs are known as doorknobs or pearl strings. A doorknob is a round sphere of latex mounted on a narrower shaft. Like a buttplug, it 'plugs' the orifice, but the sensations are different.

A pearl string is a series of spheres that can be anywhere from a half inch to three inches in diameter that you use to 'stuff' the rectum to create a feeling of fullness.


Spanish Fly

What is Spanish Fly?
Spanish fly is a powder of ground up wings of the CANTHARIS VESICATORIA beetle, found in the deserts of Spain and the Southwest United States. It has the effect of irritating the outer mucous membranes of the vagina and the penis glans (head), thus bringing your genitals to your attention and sometimes giving you the impression that you are 'aroused.'

Women may also experience lubrication as a response to this irritation. However, the body is not actually stimulated, and intercourse is probably painful under these conditions, although it may sometimes help to scratch what really *is* an itch, and not desire.

Spanish fly is also quite poisonous, and therefore illegal in the United States. Dosage is very hard to determine, as is quality, and you're just as likely to die from Spanish fly as you are to get laid.


What is the Spanish Fly sold in America?
What is sold as spanish fly in the United States is usually sold with the terms spurious or placebo. I suggest you go look these words up before buying anything with these words on the package. Most Spanish Fly is nothing more than a cheap blend of vitamins or simply a sugar pill.


What is meant by lubricant?
A lubricant, (sometimes referred to as a sex lube, or just lube,) is usually a water-based, condom-friendly liquid or jelly used to enhance or replace a woman's natural lubrication. Some people regard lubricants as a must-have item in this age of safer sex and they are an essential ingredient to successful anal intercourse.

The use of a lubricant on the inside of a condom can make the sensations delivered to the penis much stronger.

Prior to the current, safer-sex era, many people used oil-based lubricants, using vaseline or mineral oil. Neither of these are particularly healthy; petroleum-based oils destroy latex upon contact, making them useless for use with condoms. Oils also coat the inside of the vagina and rectum, providing a breeding ground for dangerous bacteria.

Even monogamous couples who don't have to worry about safer sex should avoid using oils for this reason, as well as one other: if it destroys the latex of condoms, it will also destroy the latex of diaphragms, cervical caps, and sponges, as well as the protective coatings around some IUDs.


So, what are they made of?
Most lubricants are made up of one or (more commonly) several of the following: glycerin, hydroxyethyl cellulose, or propelyene glycol. Some add aloe vera or vitamin E acetate. All add a pH balancing agent, and most have some sort of preservative, since the first three items are all essentially food additives, thickening agents. Look at a container of Slime in a toy store, the same three primary ingredients.


What brands are there?
Although the most common brand of sex lubricant is still KY Jelly, you should be aware that KY is intended for single-use medical environments; the insertion of a thermometer or catheter, for example, and is deliberately formulated to break down quickly. This is not good for situations where the lubricant is expected to last a long time, such as during intercourse.

The names of other common brands are: Wet, ForPlay, ID, Slip, Probe, Pride, Aqualube, Astroglide, and Elbow Grease. Both Wet and Elbow Grease also make oil-based lubricants for masturbation purposes only, so read the label carefully before you buy. These are just a few of many lubricants on the market.


Which is best?
Best lubricant is a non-sequitor, since lubricant choice is as personal to taste as food. Some people like it thick, others runny, others need it to be slick enough to grease their engines and others need it to last long enough to go for hours. Small sampler bottles (1 oz.) are available for a dollar apiece, buy one of each and try them out. Figure out which one you like best.


Drugs

Disclaimer: Nothing in this FAQ is intended to be taken as a recommendation or endorsement of illegal substance use. It is the intention of this FAQ to accurately report the effects of those substances that its readers may choose to use upon their sexual functioning, both positive and negative.


Alcohol

The only legal drug in this short list of mind-altering chemicals, alcohol is widely available in most of the known world. Alcohol is primarily a depressant, although it small doses it may cause free-association that leads to violence where hostility already exists.

Alcohol is used in a sexual context to loosen one up, overcoming inhibitions to proceed to the sexual act itself; however, it's depressant effect may also cause temporary impotence.


Amyl Nitrite

Also known as poppers, Rush, Locker Room, or Head Cleaner. Currently controlled in the US, although designer variants of butyl nitrite, isobutyl nitrite, and cyclohexyl nitrite are still available in some states.

This drug relaxes the smooth muscles of the vascular system, resulting in a momentary rush that is primarily the result of oxygen depravation to the brain. Also relaxes the vaginal and anal sphincters and was once popular with gay men for that effect. Produces intense headaches in about a quarter of all users.


Cocaine

Sex on cocaine is frequently described as the most intense in the world. (Of course, that's said about crystal methamphetamine, too.) Cocaine elevates the perceived effect of arousal, both male and female.

Depression is a common post-high effect. Chronic use leads to full-blown paranoia, psychological dependency, and impotence. So go easy on the stuff.


Marijuana

There is a lot of controversy over marijuana, and has been touted as the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world. But neither marijuana nor any other drug will create passion where there is none to begin with.

Many people who have used marijuana during sex have reported enhanced sensations, longer durations, and increased arousal. However, marijuana may also make sex more difficult because of its tranquilizing effect.


LSD-25

Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (acid). A powerful psychedelic, most people who have tried to have sex under the influence of LSD have stated that their nervous systems were far too overloaded with basic sensations to try and engage in anything as complex as sex.

For those who have succeeded, however, the effect as with all LSD experiences, depending on setting and preconceptions about the experience, it can be exhilarating or terrifying.

If you haven't done acid before, don't do it and hope to make love the first time you try. If you are used to dropping el cid, go ahead.


Sex Toys, adult videos and other erotic products can be purchased online and discreetly shipped to your house by clicking here.




Books


Becoming Orgasmic:
A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women

This illustrated book is aimed at teaching women who have never had an orgasm, women who are afraid to look at or touch themselves, extremely religious couples, and so forth how to achieve an orgasm.

Written by professionals with years of experience, this is the practical application of successful forms of treatment that have worked to help others overcome this terrible tragedy.

Becoming Orgasmic Home Page



Good Vibrations:
The New Complete Guide to Vibrators

Everything you wanted to know about vibrators and female masturbation. It does not teach techniques, but describes all the different kinds of toys available and what they do.

Even if you already have a good sex toy collection, this will be sure to give you some new ideas.

Good Vibrations



The Lesbian Sex Book

An illustrated guide to lesbian sex deals with such practices as cunnilingus, masturbation, and penetration, as well as intimacy, non monogamy, health, and political correctness.

The book is great for showing how to please your partner I loved illustrating for this book. I got to show (and learn) so many tantalizing techniques to develop a better sex life together. I know you and your partner will enjoy a much more fulfilled sex life and really enjoy this.
The author, Julie May.

The Lesbian Sex Book



The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex

Excellent book that covers issues like masturbation, lone and mutual vibration, dildo and other sex toys. All are discussed in a thoughtful, complete and honest manner.

Yes cunnilingus are addressed as is safe sex which is a must these days. It is a book for the educated, thoughtful, and non-prudes. Ignore the negative remarks the anti-sex crowd spout. Buy the book and enjoy the hints it shares.

The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex



The Sexually Dominant Woman:
A Workbook for Nervous Beginners

Are you a dominant woman? Are you interested in bondage, S&M, and other similar sexual activities? Do you need a reference guide? If so, this is a wonderful book for the curious beginner.

Written in a very clear and open style, defining terms as it goes along. The author is careful to explain drawbacks as well as benefits of different types of dominant/submissive play, and gives many safety tips that can be incorporated into gay and straight sex.

The book is best for the beginner to BDSM, and works well for both dominant and submissive as a reference. For more experienced players, the safety reminders would be most useful.

The Sexually Dominant Woman



The Whole Lesbian Sex Book:
A Passionate Guide for All of Us

The first lesbian sex guide for all women who desire women, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book includes everything you need to know to create a sex life that works for you!

Includes: where to find sex partners (and how to talk to your lovers about sex), how to have all the orgasms you desire-G-spot orgasms, multiple orgasms, extended orgasms, and ejaculation, how masturbation and fantasy can improve your sex life, expert how-to information on cunnilingus, anal sex, vaginal fisting, and other favorites.

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book